How to talk about SEX

and other important things
BigTalk Education, one of the UK’s leading providers of relationship & sex education give parents’ ten top tips for talking to your child about body science and relationships. 

Relationship and sex education is much more than talking to children about reproduction. Our advice to parents is to follow our top tips below for speaking to your child about their bodies and relationships, this will make the transition to talking about Sex much easier.

Ten Top Tips for Parents

1. From the very beginning always refer to parts of their bodies by the correct terms, for example, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.

2. Ensure they are aware of the 4 parts of their body no one should touch unless they want them to: the genital area (penis, vagina), bottom, chest and mouth.

3. Reassure them they can come to you if ANYONE touches them or asks them to keep a secret (surprises are ok, secrets are not).

4. Never expect or force them to kiss people goodbye etc. We suggest that blowing kisses, shaking hands or a “high five” can be a good alternative.

5. If a child wants to touch or explore their genitals explain kindly that it’s something we do in private not in public.

6. Don’t encourage or tease about “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” substitute with “friends who are boys” or “friends who are girls”. Feeling pressured by this can lead to problems at School and with peers. Let them be children and enjoy their friendships, there is plenty of time for closer relationships when they get older.

7. Let children know what your family values are or the School ethos regarding relationships and the way we treat others.

8. Don’t assume all children are heterosexual.

9.Tell them they can always speak to you as a Parent or a trusted adult within School, to ask about things that they have seen/heard and don’t understand (again don’t assume they know this).

10. As a parent keep the channels of communication going, be interested, who are their friends at School? Who are their friends on-line? Make time to talk.

But how do I answer the SEX question?

At BigTalk Education we teach children in schools about reproduction from UK year 4 (age 8) , this includes talking about the bodies of men and women and how a baby is made. To help parents speak to their children about this, in an age appropriate manner, we have created a book for parents and children to read together, called Bodies, Babies and Bellybuttons.  This book is suitable for younger children who are asking questions about where they or babies come from.

Introduction to age appropriate RSE

Our guide to high quality, age appropriate Relationship & Sex Education for your child, helping you know what to expect from us.

Parent’s sex education questions answered

We answer the most frequently asked questions that parents’ ask us about Relationship & Sex Education.

Helplines and support for parents

Information about who you can speak to if you are (or were) affected by any of the topics we speak to children about.

Parents’ feedback on the Growing Up Safe programme

Read the comments of other parents and their experiences with the Growing Up Safe programme, in their child’s school.

Parents’ of SEND children: Your questions answered

Information for parents of special educational needs and disabled children, including our mainstream and special school programmes.

Parents’ of Spectrum children: Your questions answered

Information for children on the autism spectrum and related disorders, including why high quality RSE is vital for your child.

Operation Hydrant is the police initiative set up in 2014 to coordinate investigations into allegations of non-recent child sexual abuse. This factsheet from Operation Hydrant gives some basic information on reporting historic abuse to the police and what is involved.

To report non-recent child abuse to the Police

Operation Hydrant is the police initiative set up in 2014 to coordinate investigations into allegations of non-recent child sexual abuse. This factsheet from Operation Hydrant gives some basic information on reporting historic abuse to the police and what is involved.

To report non-recent child abuse to the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse

The Truth Project was set up for victims and survivors of child sexual abuse to share their experiences in a supportive and confidential setting. It’s part of the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse (IICSA) which was set up in 2015 to investigate organisations and institutions that have failed to protect children from sexual abuse.

HAVOCA – Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse
HAVOCA is run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. They provide support, friendship and advice for any adult who’s life has been affected by childhood abuse. Their website includes information on finding professional help, a survivors forum and details on survivors support groups near you.
National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC)
NAPAC (the National Association for People Abused in Childhood) offers support to adult survivors of all types of childhood abuse, including physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect. Their website also contains free online resources and information on legal advice, support groups and much more.
One in Four
One in Four specializes in supporting survivors of sexual violence and abuse, and particularly survivors of child sexual abuse and trauma. They can assist in helping survivors access long-term, low cost Counselling for men and women over 18 years,  psychoeducation groups and workshops plus advocacy and help with reporting abuse.
Rape Crisis
Rape Crisis offer help if you've experienced rape, child sexual abuse or any kind of sexual violence. They can provide details of local Rape Crisis services.
Samaritans
Whatever you are going through you can always speak to someone at Samaritans. As a non-religious organisation offer a safe place for you to talk any time you like, in your own way – about whatever’s getting to you. Call them on 116 123.24 hours a day free of charge. Alternatively you can visit your local Samaritans branch.
Survivors UK
Survivors UK is a charity for specifically for Male survivors of rape and sexual abuse. They can offer a range of support services including counselling and therapy appointments as well as online chat. All services are provided by trained professionals who as specialists in the field of male sexual violence have helped many men to work through their experiences.
Victim Support
Victim Support is a UK charity which delivers tailored support to help people recover from the effects of crime and traumatic events. They can provide emotional and practical help. They also have resources for children & young people that have been victims, as well as their parents and teachers.
Rehab for Addiction

Rehab for Addiction aids individuals affected by substance misuse and their loved ones, providing a wide array of services to guide you towards the most effective treatments. They support with alcohol rehab, drug rehab, detox services, intervention, aftercare, and outpatient counseling, all facilitated by various reputable UK Private Addiction Rehab or NHS/Council-Funded providers.